Here’s Why Punishments Don’t Work, According to a Child Development Expert

  • News
  • Published in

    Reading 2 min.

    Punishments are an integral part of parenting for many parents. But are they really effective? It seems not, according to child development specialist Becky Kennedy, for three reasons.

    To make the child understand his mistakes, many parents resort to punishment. However, if we believe Becky Kennedy, a child development expert, this method is not effective, for at least three reasons.

    Punishments do not allow the child to develop new skills

    Punishments are quite degrading to the child’s image. In fact, when we punish a child, we do not give him the opportunity to understand why what he did was wrong and how to fix his mistake. In an Instagram post, Becky Kennedy expands on this. “lChildren are born with emotions, but not with the skills to regulate them. Each behavior is accompanied by an emotion. The best way to improve behavior is develop skills“.

    Instead of punishing your child for his stupidity, it will be more productive to talk to him about what he did, so he can explain himself and think about how he can improve in the future.

    Punishments make you feel ashamed.

    A child rarely feels proud of having been punished. On the contrary, ending up in a corner creates a feeling of shame, which will potentially lead to bad behavior later. “When we punish a child, they feel ashamed. And shame is paralyzing. And if a child is paralyzed, they cannot learn, grow and change” warns Becky Kennedy.

    Punishments give a negative image of oneself.

    A punished child will have a negative self-image. Punishing him makes him feel like he is a bad person. However, in order to learn on a daily basis, a child needs to have self-confidence. “Children respond to the image given to them. This is how they build their identity. We can’t tell them ‘go to your room, what’s wrong?’ and hope they improve their behavior. “Children need to feel good inside for good behavior to emerge.” summarizes Becky Kennedy.

    10 ideas of "positive punishments"

    Slide: 10 ideas for “positive punishments”

    Leave a Comment